Friday, January 02, 2009

Glowie Pickard Belcher

Granny passed away this morning. I am sad. I am sad that my Mother is exhausted emotionally and physically. I am sad that Pepa is in so much anguish. I will continue to pray for them.

A few months ago I had a dream. It was a wonderful dream to me. Everyone I tell it to is mortified, but it brought me so much peace. I was dying. I was old. Jason was gone. My children stood at the foot of the bed. I couldn't see their faces, but they were fuzzy images at the end of my bed. A nurse was there to help me. Now I would call that a hospice nurse. I felt terrible. My head was killing me and I was so nauseous. I struggled to sit up a little and took my teeth out (ick!, but with my bad teeth, dentures are a reality in my future). Then I laid back into my pillow. Laying down brought some relief from the nausea. And then it happened. I knew I was dying. This wonderful peace started at the top of my head and slowly crept down my body. I realized what was happening. I knew I was dying and it was wonderful. Wonderful peace and calm. My last conscious thought was to try to make my fingers bend into the "I love you" sign before the peace got to my fingers. I wanted to leave that message for my kids, all grown adults. I don't know if I was successful or not, but I knew peace. Total and complete peace.

It was a wonderful dream to me. My life was complete and I was at peace. When we heard that Granny was going to hospice, I expected something like my dream. But what I didn't think about was Pepa's reaction. He was not ready for Granny to go. Mama says the anguish on his face is so painful to watch. That poor man. She was his world. We are praying now for him. For comfort from this terrible loss. I know Granny is at peace now. I pray for comfort for Pepa.

3 comments:

Blarney Girl said...

Sounds like it was an awesome dream; especially since you felt such peace during it. Most of us, among the living, have a fear of death, but I don't think we should. It's a natural part of life and gets us back to our Heavenly Father. I get fairly upset when a loved one passes away, but it's not because they are dead, it's because I won't see them for a long time and will miss them. There are so many loved ones I can't wait to meet and greet on the other side.

Danielle said...

Shelly and family,

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother passing. Especially to hear about the anguish your grandfather is in. We know all to well the anguish you speak of. Jon's grandfather died suddenly a few years ago leaving his grandmother alone in a life that depended on eachother for support and companionship. Her family has rallied around her and that has helped, but the first steps are hard. We love you and your family and will pray for everyone and especially your grandfather!
Love, Danielle

OPA and OMA said...

Shelly,

I am sorry to hear about Granny, and send my condolences to you, your family and especially to your mother. That was an interesting dream, and I am really glad to hear that you were really old. The denture thing is not so bad once you get used to it. I like having teeth. I am sure that Pepa is in great anguish. I can not imagine anything worse than losing Sandi, even though I have a complete understanding and knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. It would just be heart wrenching.

We love you and all the family. Give your mother a special hug from us.

OPA