Sunday, May 20, 2018

What a week!

It’s been a week!  Bella has been to the dentist – which means pre-medication for her heart, so a call to cardiology (I always forget!)  Three adults were required for a cleaning Sad smile.  My misadventure of cutting my finger – oops!

Lizzy and I both getting dental work done.  Bella’s surgery.  Alex hurt Benny – he bit his hand.  And then Becca fell and broke her big toe.  Just lots!

This weekend was Stake Conference which means Jason was gone all weekend with his calling at church.  It’s been a long week.


I am teary today, which is unlike me.  (Seriously, I cried ONCE the whole nine months Bella was in the hospital) Some of my millions of thoughts:

My Jessi is leaving and going away to school. Right now she is working full time.  My Sammi will start back to college soon.  My Lizzy who is already super busy with her amazing orchestra and crazy school, has gotten a job for the summer.  Her weekends are spent training.  My big girls are leaving me.

All of this has me thinking – especially Alex hurting baby Benny.  My sweet boys.  How is he going to be OK as he ages?  We already limit where he goes and who he is around – and now that circle is getting smaller.  What does the future hold for you my son?  How I love you!  Yes, you drive me crazy sometimes, but I love you still. Inside that screaming, throwing, self injurious, and sometimes injurious to others is a sweet little boy.  He may not understand that other people have feelings.  He may want to do what he wants to do, like RIGHT NOW.  But inside, there is a soul.  I love that soul.  I WORRY about him and his life – a lot@

And Bella’s surgery.  Funny kid!  She makes me laugh – I found out she extubated herself – haha, of course she did!  There is my Bella!  The hospital here has a crazy rule.  If you are being admitted, the parents meet the child in their room, not in recovery.  So I’m worrying wondering what is going on (it’s taking a long time.  I’ve already spoken with both surgeons…)  After a call back there, I’m in the room already, the nurse says, “Don’t worry.  She’s waving and happy.  She’s totally back to normal.”  Haha, total stranger.  That’s not my baby!!  That just means she’s still really, really loopy!  More time passes (another hour) and FINALLY they bring her up (took forever!) and she starts moaning and groaning about her IV to me.  Yes, there is my Bella!       I’m worried, though.  The ortho surgeon said this surgery bought us a couple of years.  A couple of years???  My crazy dancer!  Please don’t take away her mobility!

And then there is summer.  Four little ones  - with distinct needs.  It fills me with fear and trembling!  I even fasted about it!

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