Sunday, June 07, 2009

Course Alteration

Life is made up of changes – at least mine has been.  We moved often when I was growing up.  I changed schools, meet new friends, but I had the constancy of a good home life – for which I am grateful.  Life changes, graduations, marriage, babies, moves happen.  I usually just accept that things are changing and don’t look back. 

My life has changed again.  Bella has changed our lives in ways we would never have dreamed about.  Do we resent her?  No.  She is the sweetest, bravest fighter I have ever meet and I admire and love her.  But my life is changing, and instead of simply allowing it to pass by unnoticed, I decided this weekend to take a second and acknowledge the change.  I packed up a lot of my home schooling stuff yesterday.  I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of everything – in fact I held onto too much  :), but I allowed myself to linger and remember.

Jessi and Lizzy will have to attend public school in the Fall because their mother cannot teach them with the level of involvement that she would like.  (And yes, I know I just referred to myself in the 3rd person, but I’m in emotional waters – and emotional waters make me uncomfortable.)  This is a sad change for me.  I have loved teaching them to read.  I have loved being with them all day, every day.  I love reading a good read aloud book together.  I love learning along side them.  I love my kids!  I hate that someone else will get the pleasure of being with them during the day.  Jason and I keep looking for the good.  I am sure they will do well.  They are bright girls.  I hope they make good friends.  August will start a new chapter in my life.  I will try to do my best so that it’s a good chapter!

In other news:  The girls have been able to come up with me to the hospital now that Bella is in PCU, instead of PICU.  I take a girl by herself each day as long as there aren’t any tests or I don’t have any classes.  It’s been good to be with them again – and I think they are having fun.  Check out Bella’s blog for pictures!  :)

1 comment:

Kathie said...

I am glad that you were able to make this hard decision for you. I know how hard it was and that it will be continue to be hard, especially at the beginning, but the Lord will bless them with good teachers and friends. Love ya bunches, Kathie