Jason and I are back to alternating weeks for church attendance. It's not fair to ask Alex to sit for an hour, quietly, without any noisy toys to help him, without letting him kick the pew in front of him. I decided this a couple of months ago when he got so mad at me (for not letting him kick the pew in front of us) that he threw his head back and almost broke my collar bone. I decided we were done. There is no point in Alex going to church, but the rest of us need it, so now Jason and I alternate, as we did when Bella was so ill.
So, as you have probably guessed, it's my week at home. :)
I have the Mormon channel (music station) on, listening to the songs of the season. I love Christmas hymns - music literally praising the Lord. How it thrills my heart! After one particularly reverent hymn, I was pondering once again the juxtiposition that is my God. So powerful, so awe inspiring, even to be feared, and on the other hand, my closest confidant and friend. How is it that the Creator of worlds without numbers, the Knower of all, knows and loves me?
I love the Creation - listening to the beginnings of our planet and universe. I am awed by how it all fits together, by the laws of nature that we try to understand. It's all so vast, so incredible! Outside of learning about my Savior and His love for all of us, learning about the creation is my favorite! Organizing the elements, forming a planet, forming a universe, creating a sun, tides, seasons, day and night, plants - in all their varieties, animals, snowflakes, the list goes on and on. And He did it so perfectly - this animal feeds this animal, while this animal eats plants - entire chains and webs. Beauty everywhere! All those stars. I want to know more. I'm just awestruck! My mind just can't grasp the width and depth of the creation.
Down on the personal level, I know I am loved. He loves me. I know this. But I also know that He also loves my sister that lives in the deepest jungles of the Amazon, or the one living in a high rise in Shanghai, or the one living in a refugee camp. My needs are know. Their needs are know. How does He do that? How does He do both the Big picture and the Teeny picture? How does He know the amount of times Alex has taken off his clothes and smeared the poop from his diaper on the floor or the amount of holes in my walls from his kicking or how often he has gotten frustrated with me and slammed his head into whatever hard surface he can find? How many seizures he's actually had today. I have no idea, but I know He knows. And I know He knows the particulars about all of my brothers and sisters all over this world, worlds without end. Blows my mind! All of those teeny, tiny little details!
I am so grateful! Grateful that while He is so powerful, amazing, and awe inspiring (where are the words to describe Him?), He would have me know of His love and personal knowledge of me - Shelly. I am grateful and love my All-Knowing, All Powerful, and Loving, Caring, Wonderful God!!